Last time in “The Politics of Words: The Plural Rebellion Part 1” we constructed a land filled with letters and numbers called Alphabet Land. We met a letter named S, who felt scorned and thought he was better than the other letters. He had the power to make things plural, as he could turn an apple into many apples, and, with the help of Apostrophe, he could help nouns claim ownership of things.
Well, the letter S became a bit drunk with his new found powers and his head swelled with a sense of superiority. He treated the other letters with arrogance and thought they should see him as the most important letter.
Yet, they greeted S’s snotty behavior with jokes and snickers. S feels scored from his peers and he devised a plan to take over Alphabet Land.
The Plural Rebellion Part 2
S had devised a plan as he sat in the lunchroom and watched the letter F get a drink from the fountain. He would need the help of his friend Y, but that would be later. For the plan’s fist step, he only needed to pull a prank on the letter F.
S reached into his book bag and pulled out a marker, a peice of paper, and a bit of tape. With the marker, S wrote “Kick Me” on the page and put the bit of tape at the top. He then walked over to fountain and taped the page to F’s back with a tap on his back.
“Hello S.” F said as he turned to see who had tapped him on the back.
“Salutations, F. How are you doing?” S said.
“I’m quite well S. Thank you for asking.” F said.
“F, I have something to tell you and I don’t think you will like it.”
“Really S, what could it be?”
“It’s the other letters, they all hate you” S whispered as he moved in close to F. “They don’t think you are funny, they think you are a joke.”
“Oh S, the other letters like me well enough.” F said.
S then reached around F and plucked the note off his back. He gave the note to F for examination.
“You see F, the other letters wrote this note and tapped it to your back. They have been laughing at you all day. But I have a plan to get back at all of them.”
F was frustrated by the “Kick me” note on his back and blamed the other letters because he did not know what S had done. F agreed to join up with S and they would meet each other later that night.
Though unannounced to both of them, the letter E, who was quite close to F, eavesdropped on their conversation and knew that S was up to shenanigans. S left to find the letter Y and E followed him at a safe distance to go unnoticed.
The letter Y was a bit of a loner and S found by himself on the playground. Like S, Y had a chip on his shoulder and he regretted his position in the Alphabet, where he stood next to Z who was such a bore. Though Y was a unique letter in that he belong to the vowel group with A, E, I, O, and U , but he never felt like he fully belonged as his membership was only sometimes.
“Salutations Y, I have been looking all over for you.” S said as he walked up to his friend.
“Yeah S, it’s good to see you. Why have you been looking for me” Y said.
“Well I’m sick of the other letters, I have devised a plan to take over Alphabet land and we will rule them all.”
“Oh S, please do tell me your plan.”
“It’s really quite simple, Y. With the help of F and yourself, we can turn a wolf into many wolfs, and an army into many armys. We can then use our pluralized forces to take over Alphabet land.”
“Why S, that is a brilliant plan, when should we act?”
“Tonight, at 8 p.m. we will meet with F and enact our plan.”
S and Y left to prepare for their plan, while E, who was in the bushes nearby, heard the whole plan and left to gather reinforcements. He ran to get all the other letters.
Later that night, when S, Y, and F met but right before they could spring their trap, all the other letter descended upon the trechrious trio. They arrested the trio and brought them to court where judge J resides.
After hearing the case, J thought long and hard about what should be done. S was a letter and his powers of plurality and possession were a boon to the Alphabet community. However S needed some laws to restrict his ego and J thought he had just the right one. The court room sat in silence in anticipation of J’s verdict.
“This court has found that S is guilty of masterminding a plural rebellion. He enlisted the help of Y and F.” J declared, “From now until the end of time, S can no longer stand besides F or Y. Instead to pluralize nouns that end in y, letters I and E will take his place to watch over S. To pluralize words that end in F, letters V and E will take his place to further watch over S.”
With a bang of J’s gavel, his words became law. Now under E’s watchful eye, S could no longer manipulate the other letters. Wolves became the pluralized version of wolf and Armies became the pluralized version of army. No longer could S manipulate his fellow letters as he is always under E’s watchful eye.
The Moral Ending
The tale of the Plural Rebellion is only a myth and a work of fiction, however many of the elements of the story are true:
With an apostrophe, the letter S helps nouns to take possession of things, as the puppy became the boy’s puppy.
There is a letter group called vowels that consists of the letters, A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.
The letter S can pluralize words, as a hat can become many hats with the letter S.
To pluralize a word that ends in Y, then you need to replace the Y with a letters I and E and add an S at the end, as army becomes armies.
To pluralize a word than ends in F, you need to replace the F with the letters V and E with the S, as wolf becomes wolves.
Join us next time as we delve deeper into grammar with our guide “The Politics of Words”