Sure you have heard of the Stock Market, but you don’t quite know the ins and outs. Let Jane, our Corporate Sponsored Whorebot, help you understand how the stock market works.
Fast Web to College
Jane, the self proclaimed Queen of Brand Labels, is back with a more advice on how you can make the Greek life work for you. Keep your pants on, it’s not that kind of the Greek life. Learn how you can gain extra money for school on the internets.
Get Rich With Unclaimed Property
Jane reaches into her Louie Vuitton and pulls out a tip for every American. How can you use the internet to claim Unclaimed Property, find out inside.
Hollywood Rock!
For those who call the Thirty Mile Zone home, for good or ill, this is your music scene!
Craigslist and Nerdy Girls
My mail box has been having technical difficulties, which means I have to seduce a nerd into some free IT and find letters in other places. As an upwardly mobile city girl, I am well versed in the internet BBS known as Craigslist, a site where you can find anything your heart desires. Gadgets, rental properties, buffalo stance prostitution, or anything, even brand label goods, can be found on the binary flea market known as Craigslist. Users meet to trade goods and ideas. In one section, named Rant and Raves, users post anonymous grips, which often lead to monumental bitch fests. If there was ever a place that needs a Corporate Sponsored Whore more, I hope to find it. Until then, let’s start with:
Dear Jane: Letters to Jane
Dear Jane,
I am the proud parent of a two daughters. I also have a friend “Noel” who I have known for 15 years. Lately, Noel has become a little too friendly toward our 18-year-old, “Bambi.” He gives Bambi money for doing nothing. The first time, he gave her $400 and told her not to tell my wife or me. Of course, our she told her parents anyway. We raise our girls right. When we confronted Noel, he said he felt sorry for Bambi and she was supposed to pay back the loan, so we let her to keep the money to buy clothes.
A few weeks after that, Noel gave Bambi $200 for locks of her long blond hair, so he could sell them over the Internets. Needless to say, her mother and I were very upset. But instead of confronting him again, we gave Noel the cold shoulder, and hoped he would get the message.
About a month later, he sneaked into our home and installed a satellite box in Bambi’s room. When we discovered the box, we asked Bambi where it came from, and she said Noel. The box had been rigged with free pay and pornography channels. We removed the box, gave it back to our ex-friend and ordered him never to come around our kids again. Do you think we did enough?
~Guarding in Glendale
Dear Jane,
Hello, to all my adoring fans on the internet. Jane is back, and I am here to help the people. I receive letters every day. From love notes to questions, I get letters all the time. Everyone seems to want to know some bit of knowledge from the queen of brand labels. Before, I tried to answer every mail and would sit in my local StarBucks to rattle off my sage-like advice with a mocha in hand. However, I was only helping one person, and knew I could do more. I could answer the letters, drink the mocha, and post them here. I would help the world and not get dirty in the peace core. I call that win-win.
Dear Jane,
I am a 29 year old stay at home mom with four kids. Three are my fiance “William’s”, and the littlest is ours . William and I have been together for 9 years.
I am a depressed and have been for many years. I shop excessively and spend all of our money. I don’t know how to stop. Shopping makes me feel good. When I’m depressed I go out and shop. I buy things I don’t need but tickle my eye. I have started shopping online. I feel horrible about it, but it makes me feel so good. William and I have tried everything, including separate bank accounts. Please help, I don’t know what to do.
-Bankrupt in Barstow
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Good and Evil in the Garden of Quicksilverscreen.com
Look who is moving up into the world. My first blog received rave reviews on Myspace.com (a newscorp subsidiary). Now, two blog deep into the WWW and your old friend, Jane, is already on the independent Blog-o-sphere. It goes without saying, I would rather get work with one of the bigger companies, ABC, NBC, or the mecca FOX, but we all have to start somewhere. Even my hero Ann Cuthur had to start out somewhere. Ann had to learn the school of hard knocks on the mean streets of Harvard Square pre-StarBucks and I have to start out on this loopy liberal owned site.
