An Incredible Link-Filled Post Of Magnificent Proportions, Containing Therein Various Pseudorandom Rantings and Ravings, In One Act
Beyond Petroleum Oil Spill Solution Act 1
As I write this, I am sitting close to a chunk of petrified wood that contains, amongst other things, uranium oxide. Yep, I own a chunk of material that has uranium in it. trace levels. Not even enough to set off my Geiger counter (yes, I own a Geiger counter. Is anyone surprised?) I can pick it up and hold it in my hand. So long as I don’t, eat it or snort it, it can’t possibly hurt me.
Radioactivity is so misunderstood. I feel bad for it, as I would a misunderstood child.
I was perusing the internets, and found this article on ABC news, “What if BP Never Stopped the Oil in the Gulf of Mexico?.”
To summarize: basically, unless they nuke it (the smartest idea), this might go on for years. Except that nuking it is off the table, according to other articles found else where, i.g. ”Feds: We Won’t Nuke Gulf Spill.”
Russians Heart Nuked Oil!
You see, they’re worried that nuking the oil spill is new territory. Except, it isn’t, since the Russians have nuked leaking gas-wells in the past, and it worked 4 out of 5 times. Let’s call Vladimir and ask him for some advice, shall we? Sure, they haven’t done it underwater, but the principle is the same: you unleash a force hotter than the surface of the Sun with a shockwave rivaling an earthquake, in a strategic location near the hole, and the hole will be sealed. It’s simple science.
But calling Volodya would require anyone in Washington to have an I.Q. above 43, well, except Emanuel and Obama. (Emanuel is Obama’s Karl Rove and Dick Cheney combined, by the way. Just thought I’d fill you in on the obvious.)
Anyhow, Obama has a high I.Q., but he’s too busy golfing to do anything productive. It seems like he’s played more golf in 2 years than Bush did in 8. At least Eisenhower (the most prolific presidential golfer, as I recall) also spent plenty of time off the green writing his eloquent farewell address–I think he started writing it on Inauguration Day, but that’s neither here nor there. Oh, and then there was the little matter of ending Truman’s mess in Korea (albeit pretty badly. Should’ve rehired MacArthur.)
Obama’s handling of this entire oil situation is far worse than Bush’s handling of Katrina. If he was paying attention to anything beyond his own political agenda, he’d have half the U.S. Navy steaming in to help out by now. And he would have delayed his 27th vacation of his presidency (I lost count six months ago, so my number may be off a smidge), and he would have spent more than 3 hours looking at what was happening in Louisiana.
Anyhow, the DOE’s removal of the nuclear option from the table, is–quite frankly–asinine. It seems that I, a layperson who taught himself everything he knows about physics and the A-Bomb, know more than the good people at Los Alamos about the effects of a low-yield (10-20kt) nuclear blast detonated 5000 feet below sea level. Do you really want to know what those effects are?
Almost negligible compared to the effect our current oil spill, that’s what.
The Nuke Effect
You’ll have localized radioactive contamination, in some spots extensive. That’s a necessary evil. Better than hundreds of miles of coastline devastated for years, right? Of course, with a nuke you’ll have contaminants dispersed throughout the ocean. But guess what? There are contaminants from over 2000 nuclear blasts -already- sitting beneath the waves.
Over 50 years, they’ve become part of the background-radiation to which we’re all exposed. One more won’t hurt anyone, or harm marine life that much, except locally. If Bikini Atoll is any indication, it seems that nukes are not that harmful for aquatic life in the long run. Note that the extinctions were local, not global.
Nuke it. Put a 3 year commercial fishing moratorium within, say, a 50 mile radius of the blast site, and maybe add new moratoriums downstream as necessary (while lifting ones upstream.)
And for God’s sake, do it before Hurricane season hits. Hurricanes will actually disperse the contaminants much more quickly. Dilute, dilute, dilute.
At least 75% of the fallout would remain underwater. The mushroom cloud won’t extend very high into the atmosphere, comparably speaking. Why is this? Well, it will have to go through almost an entire freakin’ mile of water before it even touches surface. The under-sea nuclear tests during Operation Crossroads were conducted at only 90 feet below sea-level.
Of course, the water will absorb the gamma radiation. As I recall, it takes only 6 feet of water to stop 95% of high energy gamma rays. X-ray exposure will be equally negligible.
The propaganda of the 1960s did its job too well. Everyone’s too scared of nukes to use them when necessary. Hell, I bet we won’t even nuke the asteroid Apophis if it changes course to collide with Earth in 2036. Nope, we’ll let a few million people die before we contaminate the pwecious widdle environment with radioactive substances…radioactive substances that…are…already…there.
Can someone please tell me where uranium comes from?
Please? Wait, uranium is on the periodic table of elements, which means it is a chemical, and since chemicals are bad, then we can’t use it.
Wait (again!), aren’t oxygen and nitrogen and water all chemicals, too? Carbon is a chemical, too, so we can’t use it. Huh, since “organic” means something is either living or once-living and is made from carbon.
As an aside, this is why “organic gardening” is an oxymoron (by and for morons, no less)–all life-forms on Earth are carbon-based, and thus, organic. It’s just that some gardens are treated with pesticides and others aren’t. The misuse of “organic” in health-food circles is retarded, and anyone who uses it thus is ignorant, a fool, or both, especially as the very oil spewing forth from the bottom of the sea is…
wait for it…
wait for it…
Organic! Yes sir, that gasoline in your Prius is actually derived from organic hydrocarbons. Tell that to guests at your dinner-parties.
But I digress. The fact remains that our government is comprised of narcissists and fools, and now we learn our national laboratories are no longer staffed by objective scientists but rather blind idealists who play science for grant money. Nothing new, of course, but where’s a Dr. Strangelove Edward Teller when you need him?
The hard-scientists are now as inept as the soft-scientists have been since the invention of post-modernism. I mean, what happened to real scientists and engineers who looked at problems rationally, without getting all political about it? I know, they never really existed. But at least they were muzzled by decorum: let the politicians be political, let the scientists present solutions.
Final Questions
Obama’s “it’s Bush’s fault” attitude towards the situation is deplorable beyond words. I thought Obama was delivering hope and change? I thought the country would be magically improved by his election? Isn’t that what he promised? And why is everything still Bush’s fault? Is the man incapable of taking responsibility for his own actions or inactions?
What of members of his own cabinet? Surely his appointees knew of the previous lackadaisical policies towards the oil industry (lackadaisical policies going back much further than Bush. Bush’s only real permanent changes to US policy were the Patriot Act, the GWOT, a little deregulation here and there, and No Child Left Behind. That’s it. The rest were pretty much holdovers and slight modifications to previous administrations.)
Obama’s inability to say “I was wrong/inept/negligent/asleep at the wheel” almost makes one think he’s a narcissist, or a sociopath. Narcissists don’t feel guilt, only shame, and are the center of the universe. Sociopaths lack empathy, engage in self-destructive behavior (hard drugs, anyone?), and–by the way–have a tremendous amount of superficial charm and charisma. Maybe he’s both.
Maybe the cocaine went to his head. Sure didn’t help George W. Hey, they both had that in common, and they’ve both succeeded in making the country worse. Maybe users of hard-drugs should be barred from higher office. Correlation doesn’t imply causation, but people who use hard-drugs aren’t exactly known for being good decision-makers (after all, they chose to use hard-drugs in the first place. A tautology, yes, but a reasonable one.)
We need another pothead, like Bill. He was a narcissist, but at least he was the funny kind. Or someone who actually understands economics.
And at this point, you’re most likely wondering: “is Mr. McLeod for real? Does he actually believe this shit?”
I refuse to answer. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. And maybe I just like throwing beehives into crowded Volkswagens.
Tags: political opinion
WHAT TO DO NOW?