New Label Order

My Fellow Americans,

I write to inform you of a plan I have to counteract the grave actions taken by your U.S. Department of Justice.

Through a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court has opened the flood gates to political slush funds. Here come the judges and they say corporations have the same rights as individuals, and therefore, have the lawful right to openly support Political candidates of their choice.

The divided decision removes the limits that once capped the amount a corporation or union could contribute to a Political campaign. Now like any individual citizen, they can give as much as they want.

The idea that a corporation has the same rights as an individual may seem alarming, but its roots stem back to the emancipation proclamation.

Pop Quiz, Whipper Snapper

How does a Government, full of white slave owning males, decide to release their free labor? Easy, they apply their own self interest.

Thus while the Emancipation Proclamation freed the slaves, the Thirteenth Amendment freed the corporations.

In the year following the inception of the Thirteen Amendment, many cases cited the new amendment, but only one trial held a man of color. The rest of the 1866 court’s docket was filled by White men looking to financially form like Voltron.

Corporate Religion

“The man who builds a factory builds a temple… the man who works there, worships there.” – Calvin Coolidge

If we are to take our 30th President’s words as gold, then in what other ways is the corporate structure like a Religion? And if we are to say that the corporate structure is like a Religion, then shouldn’t there be a separation between Corporation and State?

The separation of Church and state is a long founded sentiment upon which the United States is founded. But why do we have the separation of Church and State? Priest are citizens of the country in which they lead their worship, why then do they not get the same freedom as other men?

We have a couple questions to give us pause. But let’s work backwards and see where we come out.

Priest are Equal, but only Judas Priest Rocks!

The priest do get the same rights as other men. They are individual citizens and have the same rights as every other individual citizen. However the separation of Church and State means that the collective body of priest has no say over the government of the people.

Why the Separation?

This is a complicated answer, but simply put, “Because the British Empire had an endless thirst for conquest.”

The inception of our United States was a separation from the ways of Jolly Old England, where the church was a high power and the royalty used crosses like swords.

The church had the king’s ear and arm, more than the common man. Our form of government was enacted to prevent this kind of control by any power outside of the government.

The union of God and Country has a long history of profit motivated trouble for the people. Don’t take a raving loon in red, white and blue top hat’s word for it, read the story of Robin Hood or watch the BBC series.

Robin of Locksley returns from a little skirmish England had over the Holy Land called the Crusades. It was a strange time, when the Muslims were used as scapegoats while royalty raped and pillaged in the Middle East. Man, talk about Medieval.

What Was Religion?

In many ways Religion has lost many of its services over the years. At the height of the Roman empire, when there were as many gods as you can think of, the markets were full of Priest who sold their god’s wears.

Sure, there were crosses and symbols but there were also elixirs, food, and clothing. If you were a fetching young lass and wanted to attract the eye of a dashing young statesmen, you might have gone to the local goddess of love and attained a vile of her love potion in exchange for an offer to her coffer.

A difference from the perfume counter at a department store is found only in semantics. Corporations are the evolution of religions. They are the modern day graven images and they are filling up the landscapes.

Yes, any sane man can see we need a separation of Corporation and State.

The Real Answers

The real answers are the repercussions. Every action has a reaction and the majority of the answers are unexpected.

Many of the news sources report that the Supreme Court’s decision will lead to an influx of Republican victory in the next election. Sure, I would say that you will see more Republicans win in the elections to come but the real story is the other effect.

Republicans and Democrats will always get funding but the new decision eliminates third party candidates from the race.

Which I know we should all think is pretty sweet because who needs a Trinity! It’s not like our own government was composed of three parts to insure lasting democracy. We sarcastically need moral ambiguity and two sided issues.

To think the boys of both WWs fought the red menace, so you nincompoops could be caught with your pants down. If this is the way you are all going to act, why don’t we abolish blue and white from old glory? We’ll fly her commie red for what you have done.

But that’s not my idea to save us from the unjust decision.

The Idea

I suggest that our government impose a rule that all civil employees, who except more than 6 figures from a corporation, shall be branded with the logo of that corporation.

Every product in my home is stamped with the logo of the company that produced it. If a company was to buy my wife’s prized apple pie recipe, then they would display themselves as the proud producer of the world’s best apple pie.

Then if the corporations are allowed to buy candidates, I think it only fair that they should label their product. I picture Forehead Tattoos, but it could be negotiated.

Until next time, prime the soil for your liberty garden,

Uncle Sam