My Fellow Americans,
Today, I write to inform you of the next great subversion by the Fox media machine. From a post on Technicolor Dreams, I learned Chuck Norris and Glenn Beck, a plastic personality from the Fox News Network, are poster boys for a radical, right wing, splinter cell, terrorist organization dubbed “We surround You”. Norris and Beck hope to grow their terrorist army to “reclaim” their own vision of America with the grim faced logic that Chuck Norris doesn’t rebel in Texas. Texas rebels in Chuck Norris.
A big shout from the belt buckle state, as Chuck Norris wills the south to rise again. He proclaims of his will to take a self imagined seat of power he calls “The President of Texas”. Under his reign, he hopes to ignite the Confederacy against the Union, for brother to fight brother and for American blood to be spilled on American ground.
From a Glenn Beck post, Beck calls for faces and sets the 9 “Principals” and 12 “Values”, but where were these ideas in prior years? For 8 years, Fox News has doled the exact opposite line of logic. I am hard pressed to remember how Fox or Bush could have conducted themselves under this list of stringent rules of conduct.
1. America is good.
Well that seems the easiest principal to understand. You have a body of people and a location they live in. These people associate themselves with their location and have a urge to be good, instilled by most stories of their time, both religious and entertainment. Everyone wants America to be good. I want America to be good, but what is the definition of good? We can say “America is good” all we want but the proof is in the pudding.
2.I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
Now here is where the separation of politics and religion should step in. I believe in my perception of my god, but I don’t necessarily believe in the god that you believe in. I am not about to sign my perception of a creator to your tailored image. But they are not looking for a guy like your old Uncle Sam. Norris and Beck want the mindless drone who is ready to give them his image of God in exchange for power in their infrastructure.
3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
Anyone who wants to have a talk about honesty should first have a conversation with me.
4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
Are the ultimate authority, not the government, on what? If I was living in a house where the spouse and, who ever the pronoun stood for, said the sky was “red” and no apocalyptic event had taken place, then I might have to disagree with their ultimate authority. Should we step into the middle ages of lords and lepers? Should Woman, Negros, and Latinos once again become the property of land owning white men?
5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
If you could make justice blind, then I would be all for this tenant, however Justice is rarely blind and one look at the Burbank court records will show the Mr. Magoo glasses of our Justice system.
6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
This imposes a scale on our rights given to us by the same great creator they praise in item 2. How can two definitions of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness be the same? We might have entirely different definitions. Sure, we have some shared aspects of our definitions, infused by the generalized dream gleamed from the New Age Nanny, but we are not all the same. Some people want to get up in the morning and teach children, others might want to clean a floor, While others waist their time with words. I don’t want a world where there is a way to measure these ideas. To each of us these are sacred. We have our own idea of Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
However, I would like to live in an America where half the population does not have ridiculous medical bills, while the other half is in deep debt, and the remaining have a mix of both. America would be good, if we fed the poor and healed the sick. We could top the good charts, if we did the simple things and took our focus away from blowing up the world and our own greedy inclinations.
Why is a company good that provides heath care for their employee, at the cost of their employee, while America would be socialist if it provided heath care? Is the corporate structure socialist? Or fascist?
8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
Where the hell was this logic for the last 8 years. When did anyone over at Fox News wake up and smell the post 9-11 reality?
9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
This is strange turn of logic when you are a citizen of a government that is composed of the people. If you happen to be of the people who are the government, then, Norris and Glenn Beck say “You work for yourself and you do not answer to yourself, but you have to answer to yourself.” Now there is the Right wing spin I have been missing.
Their 12 “values” are as follows and represents a grouping of adjectives.
Honesty, for all the lies spun from 9-11.
Reverence, for their own greed, They who value their protection over their neighbors.
Hope, for the false reality of the hell they propagate.
Thrift, Here i agree but have not seen a thrifty human in any form of political debate, ever.
Humility, for their complete and utter lack of.
Charity, to beget the return of church exit coin tosses. The Rich can once again be royalty.
Sincerity, to believe their own twisted logic is right for human kind.
Moderation, for one way slanted logic.
Hard Work, is what it is going to take to create and stop them.
Courage, to juggle both a love for their perception of god and the will to act against his words.
Personal Responsibility, a measure they will hold everyone up to but themselves.
Friendship, as it is a certain way to keep their enemies close.
The 9 principals and 12 values to usher the start of the “We Surround You” Reign. For years we have had to sit through these blow hards, who have said we should support our government, no questions. But when faced with reasoning beyond their irrational thoughts, they turn into crying children. When they don’t win, they want to take the ball and go home.
The missing elephant in the “We Surround You” campaign remains the corporate structure. “We Surround You” asks citizens to call out the government for all the atrocities of man, while it says nothing of the corporate beast. In the new risen South, what role is filled by the 5 heads of the conglomerate beast? When the fall of the American rights are shed, the corporate logo will hold the whip. However “We Surround You” might be blinded by their own greed and miss the writing on the wall.
In any event, the ”We surround you” stunt marks Chuck Norris’ fall from his once near immortal reputation. His hat toss into the ring has taken away his ability to make water Chuck Norris, and, now, the martial arts star gets wet like the rest of us. His aim is to be American Terrorist number one but, he should keep in mind, treason sends terrorist to the gallows. If Chuck Norris would like to take on the noose, he will find he doesn’t strangle the American noose but the American Noose strangles him.
This is America, humans, we are all in this together. We are the saviors of our own country. United we stand against the hurdles. All of us, every color and shade of crazy we come in. America is a melting pot of more than skin tone and ancestry but of ideas and disagreements. We are the last great hope for America and by her we stand. America is good but only if we act accordingly.
Until Next Time, pick up the trash around your local park,
Uncle Sam
WHAT TO DO NOW?