American Non-Kitchen SELLS OUT

You don’t need me to tell you times are hard, fellow foodies.  I’m going to give you a few bullet points as promised about fine dining, but after that it’s down to the hocking.

• I must admit we eat a lot of beaks and assholes in the USA, especially in Burger-maniacal Los Angeles, but we don’t eat nearly as much animal penis as many other countries, regardless of what Andrew Zimmern would have you believe.  I wonder if he chops penis over his breakfast cereal like bananas.

• If you live on the westside, please support Otom Sushi on Sepluveda.  It’s my favorite econo-sushi place in West LA and it’s taking it hard due to Fuji Wok and it’s cheezy disco dining room, massive hybrid chinese/japanese menu and militant delivery service.  Otom has a very friendly staff and aims to please while not hitting you too hard in the pocket.  Since traffic is down, they are able to cater to you that much more.  Considering the cultural differences, it’s a very homey, neighborhood vibe.  They just shut down doing lunch service due to slow business.  Let’s not let it get any worse!

• If you can tolerate the Patriot-Pride, Celtic-Pride (beware, Lakers fans, BEWARE), Red Sox-Nation ambience at Sonny McLean’s, the shepherd’s pie really isn’t too bad for a bar kitchen and goes well with any number of the Irish and New England brews available there.

• Seeking Jamaican cuisine?  Look to the Crenshaw/Inglewood district.  It’s practically Little Jamaica down there and there are several good options.   This is an area and a food genre that could use your consumer support!  For the same price that you’re blowing on perpetuating Ronald McDonald, the creepy corporate clown who encourages childhood obesity, you could get great fast food (that you haven’t already had too much of  for one lifetime) and actually support Mom and Pop instead of McWorld, Inc.  Johnny cakes and meat pies are good starch on the go.  Candied Tamarind beats the hell out of Sour Patch Kids or Sweet-Tarts for pucker power.  Don’t fear the Ackee despite the dreaded Saltfish.  Oh, and two words:  ”bread fruit”.  Damn, I’m getting hungry.

Let’s get to the hocking.  Baby needs a new pair of shoes and these days one can’t live on ANF checks alone.

FOR SALE:

• Limited Edition Faded Gibson SG bass.   Cherry finish, Mahogany body, Rosewood fretboard.  $450 includes hard case and strap-lock.

• Johnson JT50 Mirage guitar amplifier.  Comes with onboard amp modeling/effects.  $200 includes footswitch.

• Epiphone SG electric guitar.  Unique full-size pick guard.  $200 includes ATHF sticker and “FAKE SG” custom headstock….sorry, no case.

• Crown CE 1000 power amp.  1000 watts of power in two channels.  Slight bend in rackmount, but otherwise fine.  $200 includes one long (25 ft., I think) neutrik to 1/4 inch speaker cable.

• Small-sized lava lamp.  blue liquid, white lava.  $10 includes slight dent in aluminum cap.

That’s it for now, folks.  Stay tuned for more enthralling food news for your gourmet gullet.  Eat classy, Los Angeles….and as Zimmern might say after one too many penis infused cocktails, “If I look good, eat me.”