THE FULLBAR SCAM

Fullbar will make you lose the weight you want in a healthy way, and keep it off….NOT!

That is not a joke, unless you’re eating Fullbars, in which case the joke is on you. Fullbars are a new product, so I hope to get ahead of the curve with this article. More than a article, consider this a warning and a very harsh verbal wag of the finger to somebody who is NOT adhering to the principles set forth in my debut article (The Dentist Who Loved Me).

That somebody is “Doctor Snyder” who, prior to this attempt to cash in with the Fullbar scam, performed many weight-loss surgery procedures from his headquarters in Denver, CO (or as I like to call it, South Park, aka uptown Colombine). I would like to ramble on about how lame I think he is, but legal types won’t allow it. However, I will point out that any DOCTOR who only gives out one part of his name in his marketing campaign is very likely to be egocentric, out to make a fast buck, and probably has something to hide ( though the addition of “marketing campaign” should really be enough evidence for a poor medical/consumer decision); i.e. Dr. Phil, Dr. John, Dr. Nick, Doc Octopus, Dr. Feelgood (the only good one I can think of is Dr. J and maybe Dr. Teeth from the Muppets, but he was kind of creepy).

To the point, as we’re all very busy with the back-to-school and the changing-of-seasons, and Rosh Hoshannah, Constitution Day on the horizon….I digress.

Here is the scam. Fullbar is basically a fibery blow-up doll, but instead of you fucking it, it fucks you. It also makes you swallow. It’s a fibery cereal-like product that blows up in your stomach after you add (drink) water, and when you eat it with (before) your “two biggest meals of the day”, then wait 30 minutes to eat your meal ( who’s among the over-eaters are that patient? ). Presto, you are un-shockingly full, and therefore don’t snack until your next healthy meal. Gee, exploding cereal combined with a steak and a salad makes you full….what a genius concept!

Although it already sounds so stupid that it must be a scam… Wait… it gets worse.

The marketing angle compares the effects of Fullbar to the effects of gastric bypass surgery, only without the surgery. Really? Eating exploding cereal that expands your stomach will get the same results as major surgery? No that is not their claim.

They claim that the effect of feeling “full” is similar to feeling “full” after having one’s stomach stapled, bypassed, or some similar surgery. OK, but the similar feeling of fullness must mean some kind of similar effect? Yes, you feel full. Depending on the meal you scarf down, after the bar and the water, you probably feel very full, quite possibly to the extent of vomiting, which is quite factually the “effect” of gastric bypass surgery when one tries to overeat…which incurs a tendency toward bulimia. Good times!

Fullbar’s web of scam is quite simple. There are many onion like layers of their evil, which comes in the market freindly gift wrapping. But that’s more a subjective criticism that could be wasted on any infomercial. Here’s the scam, in a few easy steps:

Step 1: Considering the cost and the hassle, Fullbar only claims an average loss of less than 12 pounds in 12 weeks and unless you commit to a long-term Fullbar lifestyle, it offers no long-term solution.

Step 2: Feeling “full” is not what stops the overachieving over-eater. The over-eater feels full for several minutes like any eater, but then is psychologically driven to overeat again. Fullness is their buzz, which is why the over-eater either purges, takes on the excess weight, or does a HELL of a lot of exercise.

The cruelest step of all…Step 3: The effect of fullness comes at a price and with Fullbar that price is precisely counter-intuitive to actually dieting; whether it’s by surgery or shear intake control. The organ that is the stomach is elastic. If we stretch them out, our stomach will increase it’s maximum capacity and eventually blow out it’s elasticity and remain larger than it should. The larger the stomach, the greater the over-eater’s tolerance for the food/fullness buzz.

Controlling intake through diet will keep your stomach at a healthy size that will snap back after being pushed to capacity. Controlling intake through a weight loss surgery is much more extreme but it very plainly reduces stomach size and capacity, as well as typically providing a funnel/gasket so the stomach can’t be filled too fast. Yes, so quite simply what makes a healthy diet work in the long-run is not just losing body fat, but also losing stomach size.

Fat-ness is only a highly likely symptom of over-eating, under-exercising, or very poor diet choices. Be they too fatty or simply too bulky (binging on a bucket of broccoli every day will also expand your stomach…and make your stuff smell extra-funky). It’s what’s going on with the stomach and exactly what’s going into the stomach that points to a specific diagnosis.

Fullbar and the Effects

I will say this in Fullbar’s defense…they do say to take it (and the water) 30 minutes before you eat….but, as I’ve said, what over-eater has the time or inclination? Sure, it’s what you’re supposed to do. But if you’re an over-eater, especially if you’re an over-eater with an actual job that won’t let you have your “weight-loss snack break” 30 minutes before you have your scheduled lunch break….well, call me crazy (get in line) but I don’t see it happening.

Step 3.1: What does Fullbar do, if you fudge the timing of your two biggest meals of the day? It expands your stomach beyond the size of your “biggest meal”, which for the over-eater is already more than recommended. By missing your chance to fill yourself with a fibery cereal that increases in size with the water and whatever liquids are in your meal, you are now done with dinner and more hungry.

If you do happen to lose weight, as soon as you go off the Fullbar you will discover that you no longer feel full after a “normal” meal. This obviously urges the over-eater to push the eating envelope further than their old feeling of fullness. It is my opinion (based on my logic) that Fullbar increases the likelihood of a roller-coaster ride of weight; loss and gain (20 pounds lost during diet, 30 pounds gained afterward) among over-eaters. Over-eaters, of course, are the primary consumers of abnormal diet weight-loss products (shakes, bars, strictly-grapefruit, whatever).

Step 4: The return….So, one tried god knows how many things before trying Fullbar, and while some of them worked somewhat (including Fullbar), the over-eater finds him/herself in worse shape than ever, after their diet enhanced by Fullbar. The over-eater’s stomach is more expanded than ever and, after going through the diet program, he/she is apt to reward themselves with a moderate return to foods they were avoiding.

Let the binge begin. So, where does a morbidly obese over-eater go from here? One who has been through the cycle enough to have discovered Fullbar, been desperate enough to actually try it, only to fail in the long-term battle against obesity…what is the endgame?

Uh, did I mention that the good doctor/pitchman is a specialist in weight-loss surgeries? He claims to have performed thousands of them. He went to Harvard. He is no dummy. He is marketing a product that will make him money, while it provides him future patients. Since weight-loss surgery is too often considered cosmetic and therefore un-insurable, he is much more likely to get all the money he’s charging (and for the asking price he deems necessary) by cutting out the insurance middlemen. The cash in question is directly drawn from the over-eater’s personal savings (as well as credit) rather than from his/her insurance, which of course the over-eater pays dearly to maintain regardless of it’s usefulness, if they can afford it at all.

Shame on you, Doctor Snyder. You get zero stars from me, both as a doctor and an entrepreneur. As they say in Harvard’s Bostonian headquarters, “Go screw.”