Rockin’ Ron’s Earwax Emporium: Strange Days

“Hey Music freaks, someone spiked the punch with acid and gave Rockin’ Ron, of Rockin’ Ron’s Earwax Emporium, a big glass full.
“He downed the cup in one swing and the effects came on strong. His elevated psyche now slashes the prices. We join Ron in the midst of his trip…” The announcer said.

Inside the Earwax Emporium, the store has been decked out with a retro feel. A lava lamp sits on the counter and black light posters replace the normal band tapestries. Jefferson Airplane plays in the background and Ashley, his faithful assistant, sits behind the counter in a dress from the set of “Laugh In”.

Ron stumbles in from off camera. He is clad in a tie-died shirt and glasses far too big for his face. His head his tilted down and his hand move slowly back and forth.

Rockin’ Ron is the Mosses of Discount Record Sales

“Look at the trails, man. My hands are so fascinating…” Ron turns towards the camera.

“ Oh hey kids, Rockin’ Ron, of Rockin’ Ron’s Earwax Emporium here. Someone spiked the punch and I feel funny. My mind has expanded and continues to expand ten fold.

“I have tuned out, turned on, and heard God. He says, the people want low prices and I can give the people what they want. He wants me to be the new Mosses of discount record sales and his message is music!”

“Listen, vagrant. Find somewhere else to hang out!” Ashley dosen’t look over from the screen. She is too engaged in her outgoing orders from the Emporium’s on-line store.

“Beat it before I call the cops.”
“Ashley, it’s me Rockin’ Ron?”
“I don’t want any guff. Hit the bricks before my boss gets back. He likes to eat hippies like you for breakfast.”
“Damn it, Ashley, I am the Boss. it’s me, Ron, look!”

Ron slides the glasses down his face to revile himself and steals quick glances back at the camera with a weak smile. Ashley takes her own sweet time to look over.

“Oh hey Ron, what is with the get up? Did you steal that outfit off the vagrant. He was in here disrupting the store with talk of acid. I told him that you eat hippies like him for breakfast.”

“Damn it, Ashley, I was the one talking about acid. Someone spiked the punch with LSD and I’m tripping out, man.”
“There’s punch? I didn’t get any punch.”
“What is it about gimmicks that you do not understand?”

“Umm Ron, we are running out of time.” The Announcer said.

“I really want some punch, now.” Ashley said.
“Oh I’ll give you some punch, all right.” Ron said

“Well kids, that is all the time we have. Remember for all your musical needs, check out Rockin’ Ron’s Earwax Emporium. Exit One off the 95 Interstate, hang a right at the end of 107 into sunny Seabrook, New Hampshire. Rockin’ Ron’s Earwax Emporium, where music meets your ear.”

Join Us Next time when Rockin’ Ron Jumps the Shark!