Bob Dobbs

One has faith, when one has belief with a complete lack of proof. From the dawn of time, man has linked himself with a higher power.

Man observed the heavens and elements. He constructed theories, in the form of moral stories, to give himself power over the unknown.

Hundreds of religions have spawned from the primordial man and his perception of his environment. Yet there is only one messiah who can be called full blooded American. His name is J.R. “Bob” Dobbs.

Greatest American Salesman

Bob, like any messiah, is cloaked in mystery and obscured by outrageous tales. Some men would call him a figment of a crazed imagination. Some men would call him the savior of all men. So…

who is J.R. “Bob” Dobbs?

Bob Dobbs is the messiah of the Church of the Sub-Genius, a renegade religion composed of anyone who will pay the price of admission.

Money is the true name of the religious game. Golden temples, cities of riches, and cough ups from the coffers make the soul saving world go round. The only difference in the Church of the Sub-Genius is a tag price on salvation.

Buy Bob’s Salvation

Bob sells a blissful afterlife with a guarantee! For 30 green backs will can get ordained into Bob’s good graces and qualified for the Churches “Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE Your Money Back!” decree.

On the day of your judgment, if you wind up before the gates of Hell, Bob shall appear with 90 dollars and a pamphlet entitled “”How to Enjoy Hell for Five Cents an Eternity.”

If you think such a guarantee sounds crafted in the mind of a master salesmen, you would be right. Bob started his life as a door to door drill equipment salesman. He is billed as the greatest salesman to have ever walked the planet.

Elder sub-Genii talk of Bob’s ability to sell dirty knickers to fluff and fold Nuns. In the early days, he was on the fast track to become the richest man in the world, when fate would change the course of his life.

Bob Saw God in Every Shade of Technicolor

Late one night, Bob found God on a self build television. After his vision of the all mighty, he wrote the “PreScriptures” and planted the first seed of the relgious tree that would become The Church of the Subgenius.

There are many stories devoted to Bob and many of them are printed in pamphlets handed by the Church. His legend is epic as the tales that recount Bob’s various victories from sticky situations.

He stands as one man army against a tide of yetis and pinks. Tall, proud, and with a pipe in his mouth his image has been ingrained into the background of the Subculture. With his bust printed in the cracks of our Pop Culture.

Born and bred within the limits of our sea to shinning sea, Bob is a true American. His image is a hallmark from a altered perception of the 50′s golden era.

Bob is the 50’s father knows best. A capitalist mind pounds in his skull but a moral heart beats in his chest. He would swindle the gold from George Bush’s eye teeth but his church pays its taxes.

Sauvé and debonair, Bob is a ladies man wrapped in a Man’s man and he is the archetype for the perfect American you should know.

For more information about J.R. Bob Dobbs, try the Subgenius

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