More than Meets the Eye?

“It’s like they took a magnetic poetry of movie elements, threw the pieces at a refrigerator and made a piece of shit out of the words that stuck. ” Patron leaving the theater.

Summer is here again and with the return of the sun comes the return of the summer blockbuster. Summer blockbusters differ from other movies as they are released with maximum marketing exposure in mind, I.E. lenticular Slurpie cups, action figures, and anything else they can slap a logo on and sell for mass consumption.

You want a plot? Summer blockbusters don’t need no stinking plot. Who cares what motivations lie behind the characters actions, that time could be used to show a glistening Pepsi cans or sleek cell phones. Character development, HA, who cares what the character becomes, put him behind the seat of shiny Mustang and shut up. The only element left is action, Summer blockbusters need action. Action is slop for the lowest common denominator.

Transformers Got Action

No other movie matches the aim for a summer blockbuster than this year’s introduction of “Transformers”. A short buss full of window licking rejects could have throw this movie together and viewers would walk away from the movie with the same level of understanding. Though this point is null and void. To make a summer blockbuster a good movie defeats the elements that make it a great blockbuster.

More than meets the eye?

“Shut off your brain, sit in the seat, and eat your popcorn.” The inner suit screamed at me for the entire 2.5 hour duration of “Transformers”. “Your in a losing battle. Did you think this movie would be played in the Louvre? Look around you, boy, the mundane are looking for explosions, battles, and the American “good guy” to be on top at the end.”

At the end, I have to agree with the suit inside. Aside from a collection of subverts who watched their childhood raped on a 50 foot screen, the crowd was filled with smiles and merriment. Patrons were happy to spend 11 dollars on a 2 and a half hour corporate sponsored commercial. Ignorance is bliss and 2 and half hours with your mind off the bills, kids, or general responsibilities might be worth the 2200 hay pennies.

But the to rest of Us, who have nothing better to do with our life than define and shape pop culture, “Transformers” is another in a long line of product placement porno for the age of False idols. 150 minutes of barely held together plot with expertly shot logo cinematography, from the transformers themselves, the cellphones, a biserk soda shooting vending machines, and to “the Strokes” tee shirt on Shia LaBeouf.

More than meets the eye? No, there is nothing about this movie that goes deeper than a marketing department circle jerk.